30 Years Later…….

Oh Loving Father, is there anything you cannot do?  All of creation responds to your voice, loving your rule and singing your praises! Even time responds to your command (2 Kings 20:5-11)..How awesome is that?!! In the beginning GOD–all things flow from you Lord; you transcend all worlds, all time, all space. Your whole creation leaps in obedience to your voice; the earth groans for your return when you will restore all things.

In my prayers this morning, a very clear remembrance came to mind of a poem I wrote when I was was 16 or perhaps 17 (do you remember the angst of those days?!).  I still have it in a book of poetry  I wrote at the time. Here it is in entirety (Yes I was an e.e.cummings fan at the time!)

I am.

I search.

To find.

The something.

Found where.

The nothing.

Ends.

I stared in wonder this morning Lord, praising your name because I did not know that this poem of seeking was seeking You.  I even addressed it to my Lord (“I Am” Exodus 3:14) ! Thank you God for showing me that You are the something found where the nothing ends. I did not know the desires of my heart ended in You; I did not know that my soul, like the earth, groaned for You but YOU DID. You knew you were my beginning and my end;  You chased away the nothingness and filled my entire world with You. Like Jacob , when he dreamed of the ladder to heaven , I now cry,  “Surely the Lord is in this place and I knew it not” (Gen 28:16).  Praise your Holy Name for being so patient with me Lord.    You knew I was seeking You; my soul knew it was seeking You- it started my poem with Your Name. My soul addressed my words to you without me knowing it.  Even though I was empty inside and I struggled to find what mattered in the world, what mattered to me, You knew. You knew me before I knew myself.  This soul You created Lord longed for You and cried for You before my mouth even knew the words! How is this possible? You “first loved me”.   You called me before my ears could hear and my mind could conceive; but this soul You breathed into me , which writhed in pain with the rest of creation, sought only to reconcile with the Master that formed it, knowing that Your hand could heal it, quiet it,  nurture it and release it to joy.  And now, knowing You, I cannot lose you, like David I cry “Do not cast me away from your presence, Take not your Holy Spirit from me!”.   Your word Lord is Spirit and Life (John 6:63). Your Word created all things. Your Son, our Saviour Jesus, is Spirit and Life.  In John 14:6 we learn,  Jesus is the way and the truth and the life.   No man come to the Father but through Him.  Truly Lord Your Word leads us to the heart of You!   As the psalmist said in Psalm 119 verse 105, Your Word is a lamp unto my feet and a light unto my path.  Jesus truly lights our way and guides our steps in this dark world.   He  is the Word that proceeds out of Your wonderful and Holy mouth;  the Voice of many waters (Rev 19:6) entering our hearts and minds to reveal himself  as the Something that ends our nothingness.  He is Everything.   Praise be to the Father for calling us; for His gift of Faith.  We are sinful, Lord and were blind to Your mysteries but You love us so much that You sent Your Holy Spirit to reveal these things to us. All things are gifts from You; we cannot boast.  Love, faith, discernment, prophecy, charity, helps, wisdom, all of these things are gifts from You.  We are nothing until Your spirit quickens us to come alive in You.  Thirty years later I am so grateful you keep Your promises;   Yes those who truly seek shall find.  With joy I write a new poem to replace the old.  Lord:

You ARE.

You REVEAL.

Your WORD.

The EVERYTHING.

That SPOKE.

The nothing.

Away.

My prayer this morning is that if you don’t know God, you will renew your search.  He will reveal Himself to you and will chase away the nothingness inside of you until you cry with Joy “Surely the Lord is here but I knew it not!”

In Christ!

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