Job 8:9 …for we are but of yesterday and know nothing, because our days upon the earth are but a shadow….
Oh Father, how cruel of yesterday to remind me of the darkness of my heart; holding the mirror of Your Spirit up to it, showing me how pitted and pockmarked it has become, scarred by sin and demanding.
Yesterday, heartfelt secrets so small, like pebbles first skipping have become like great stones, whose waves have caused a grievous flood, so that “every island fled away and the mountains could not be found” (Revelation 16:20).
Yesterday I ran and hid, like the Amorite kings in terror of Your judgement at the arm of Joshua’s armies, sure I had used my full portion of your grace, like your mercy is meted out with a spoon and not a shovel.
Yesterday, surely, surely, my heart cried, my sin has vexed your loving kindness so that your back has turned to me; my name crossed from Your great book of Life.
How deceitful above all things and desperately wicked (Jeremiah 17:9) is this heart of my mine. I am afraid of it. The more I cry like David for its cleansing, for the renewal of a right spirit within me, the more I seem trapped by its longings and cross aims.
How will I ever see you without a heart that is pure? How will I be filled if it does not hunger for your righteousness? How can Your heavenly kingdom be mine if my spirit is not poor and humble?
Why do I choose the curse and abhor the blessing? Why do I crave reprobation not redemption? Yesterday I was Peter before the rooster crows, I was Paul railing against the sordid wanting of my fallen will in Romans 7:24, “Wretched man that I am! Who will set me free from the body of this death?”
How many yesterdays Father can you forgive?
Your answer this morning, Oh beloved Father, came in the rush of gratitude to my broken heart that “my thoughts are not your thoughts and your ways are not my ways” (Isaiah 55:8).
I know not the infinite but use up my pile of days wastefully; I cannot see the world at once; I have but memory upon memory of my failings.
And yet today, I praise your Holy Name that You have removed my transgressions from me, “as far as the east is to the west” (Psalm 103 v.12)! Oh precious Lord how can you have put them any farther from me? You do not hoard my sins to parade them out again and again, a testament to my continued failings. Today, I see them as a testament to YOUR forgiveness, to YOUR great mercy that is “from everlasting to everlasting” (Psalm 103 v.17).
Today I know You “have not rewarded me according to my iniquity” (Psalm 103 v. 10)
Today I will Praise Your name “with all my inmost being” (Psalm 103 v 1).
Today, at your morning’s touch, I sing, “draw me after you and let us run together”, “rejoicing in thee” and “extolling your love more than wine” (Song of Solomon, 1:4).
Today, though I know my heart is fickle, I say “Jesus Christ the same yesterday and today and forever.” (Hebrews 13:8)
I hear the forgiveness of Jesus even from the cross, pronouncing to the thief that “Today, thou shalt be with me in paradise.” (Luke 23:43).
Father, thank you for Today.
I am convinced Psalm 103 was written for those of us with too many yesterdays. My prayer for you this morning is that you wake up firmly in Today, knowing Yesterday is not just forgiven, but gone. Today may you stand strong on the Rock and turn your back to the waves, praising Him from whom all blessings flow, our great God of today.